I would definitely think about the Stumpy FSR - it's a great bike. I also looked at the Safire at a demo day and didn't like it at all.
Myself and a friend recently went on an MTB holiday in Spain and rented a Stumpy FSR and a Juliana.
Both of these bikes coped very well on some very steep and technical rocky trails. Personally I preferred the Stumpy but it's all down to personal preference.
Best advice is to try as many different bikes as possible. No bike is perfect for all types of riding - everything is a compromise.
Hmm ok, were you using the mens stumpy fsr then? I'm 5'5'' and concentrating my search on WSD bikes - my HT is a mens and I'm really stretched out (it gives me neck ache, back ache....) so that's putting me off looking at the mens stuff.
My Stumpy is the FSR Expert WSD in a small size (I'm only 5' 2"). You would probably find a WSD medium about the right size, if you can find one. Not sure when they stopped making them but it's a shame they don't any more as they are such good bikes.
My friend is also looking for her first full susser for the same sort of thing as you are. She is about 5'3" so a womens specific bike is probably the best option for her also. It is really difficult finding anywhere that has women's bikes to demo, especially in a size small so please let us know how you get on and if you come accross anything interesting.